`When we were little,' the Mock
Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now
and then, `we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we
used to call him Tortoise--' 
`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!' `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,'added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words: `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--' `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. `You did,' said the Mock Turtle. `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle went on. `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--' `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be so proud as all that.' `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.' `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'
`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. `I only took the regular course.' `What was that?' inquired Alice. `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic-- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.' `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What is it?' The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify is, I suppose?' `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything-- prettier.' `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.' |
  |
`You
couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the bottom of the
sea.'