CATERPILLAR: WHO ARE YOU? (SLEEPY VOICE)
ALICE: I HARDLY KNOW SIR-AT LEAST I KNEW WHO I WAS WHEN I GOT UP THIS
MORNING.
CATERPILLAR: EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO THEY ARE--EXPLAIN YOURSELF!! (LOUD)
ALICE: I CAN’T EXPLAIN I’M AFRAID BECAUSE I ‘M NOT MYSELF.
(LOW, SHY)
CATERPILLAR: I DON’T SEE.
ALICE: I CAN’T PUT IT MORE CLEARLY—BECAUSE BEING SO MANY DIFFERENT
SIZES IN A DAY IS VERY CONFUSING.
CATERPILLAR: IS NOT.
.
ALICE: PERHAPS YOUR FEELINGS MAY BE DIFFERENT THAN MINE.
CATERPILLAR: YOU! WHO ARE YOU?! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!
ALICE: WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME WHO YOU ARE FOR
A CHANGE, SIR?
CATERPILLAR: WHY SHOULD I?
ALICE: BECAUSE.
(ALICE STARTS WALKING THE OTHER DIRECTION)
CATERPILLAR: COME BACK I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!!
(ALICE TURNS BACK AROUND TO THE CATERPILLAR)
CATERPILLAR: WHAT SIZE DO YOU WANT TO BE?
ALICE: TELLING THE TRUTH SIR, I WOULD LIKE TO BE A LITTLE LARGER.
SCENE 2
(CATERPILLAR CRAWLS AWAY INTO GRASS)
(CATERPILLAR WHILE CRAWLING AWAY): ONE SIDE WILL MAKE YOU GROW TALLER,
AND THE OTHER SIDE WILL MAKE YOU SHORTER.
ALICE: ONE SIDE OF WHAT? THE OTHER SIDE OF WHAT?
CATERPILLAR: THE MUSHROOM OF COURSE.
SCENE 3
NARRATOR: ALICE TAKES A BITE OUT OF THE LEFT HALF OF THE MUSHROOM.
PIGEON: SERPENT!!
ALICE: I AM NOT A SERPENT!
PIGEON: EVEN IF YOU AREN’T YOU ARE BUT YOU AREN’T SO------------OWE
THIS IS SO CONFUSING
ALICE: I’M NOT A SERPENT
PIGEON: A LIKELY STORY!
ALICE: I’M A LITTLE GIRL, IT IS TRUE.
PIGEON: IV’E SEEN A LOT OF LITTLE GIRLS IN MY TIME AND THEY DON’T
HAVE LONG NECKS. THE NEXT THING YOU’LL BE TELLING ME IS THAT YOU’VE
NEVER TASTED EGGS!!!!
ALICE: LITTLE GIRLS EAT EGGS AS MUCH AS SERPENTS DO.
PIGEON: REALLY? THEY DO? HUH? I NEVER KNEW THAT!
ALICE: THEN YOU DON’T KNOW VERY MUCH!!
